Dear Teacher Landa

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When Children Curse

Dear Teacher Landa,

I am currently writing an article for a magazine about what to do when a child starts swearing or using bad words. I need your help and I hope you can answer the following questions. Thanks!

Ceia Ylagan, Writer

What is considered swearing?

Swearing or using swear words is the display of verbally disrespectful behavior towards someone or something. This is manifested through words or expressions that society generally takes as rude or insulting.

Why do children swear? Why do you think they start using bad words? Where do they get it? What factors influence them into using bad words?

There are varied reasons why children swear. However, most of them are caused by modeling or mirroring behavior from significant others. Some children hear swear words at home, often from persons of authority, while some copy peers. Other children, on the other hand, experiment with words they don’t know so they can understand what they mean. This is especially true for words copied from television shows, cartoons, books or stories. Still others enjoy getting attention from people for using profanity or are simply upset and don’t know how else to express their frustration.

What should you do when you hear a child use a curse word?

Parents and teachers must respond as calmly as possible and ask where the child heard the word he/she used. Understanding the reason behind a child’s use of profanity will allow parents or teachers to deal with the problem better. It is always best to identify the cause of the behavior and address it. If significant others are the culprit, parents or teachers must talk with the concerned parties. Often elders forget that children don’t know any better and as such must be guided accordingly. Talking with children and explaining how others feel when he/she uses bad words will help the child understand the situation better. Saying, “That word is hurtful and rude. It means something bad. How would you feel if I or someone else called you or used that word with you?” will help the child understand its effects better.

What can parents do to discipline a child who uses a curse word? How do you correct them?

First of all, parents must establish a zero tolerance rule for swear words. Once this has been established, children need to learn that cursing has consequences. Parents and members of the household must also ensure that everyone follows the same rules.

What trick works best for you? What do you tell them about cursing and saying/using bad words? How do you explain to a child that cursing is wrong?

Children need to understand that words are powerful and can be very hurtful. When I talk with my students, turning tables around always does the trick. Once they can empathize with the receiver of curse words, they are better able to understand why swearing is unacceptable and does not have a place anywhere.

What kinds of punishment should parents give if the child starts cursing or saying bad words?

The best way to deal with cursing, as is the best way to deal with any other negative behavior, is the establishment of consequences. These differ from one child and family to another, however. It can range from the withdrawal of a privilege such as allowance or favorite activity (e.g. taking away video time or play time) or giving extra chores to do.

Parents must remember to make this system consistent though. That way, the next time a child is about to curse, a mere “you know what will happen when you curse”, will help him/her think before swearing.

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"Miriam defends 'mongoloid' speech, but promises to censor self in future"

Thank you, Ms. Tricia Aquino of InterAksyon.com, for sharing this with us!

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Excerpts from the article:

» MANILA, Philippines - Senator Miriam Defensor-Santiago on Wednesday defended herself for calling her political enemies “mongoloids” in a speech at a Senate forum last week, but promised to practise self-censorship in the future.

» Santiago wrote, “[A]s a parent myself, I understand that what obviously motivates you and my other critics is parental love and concern. This being so, I extend the hand of friendship. Out of goodwill, I will impose self-censorship, by avoiding in future any word that refers to a person with disability.”

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New K - 12 Curriculum in PH SpEd

Hi Teacher Landa, good morning. I’m doing a story on SPED K to 12. May I interview you on how it affects the SpEd curriculum?

Angelo Garcia, Manila Bulletin

Excerpts from the article:

» For instance, TLC’s curriculum already has functional learning, where CSNs (children with special needs) are taught life skills that can help them live independently or skills that will help them find work. This is similar to the new K + 12 program of DepEd where senior high school students study vocational skills to ready them for work.

» “The K + 12 program is a continuum process for mastery of the learning competencies. In the regular curriculum or the old curriculum, they cram what the students need to learn in 10 years. So the K + 12 is like decongesting the system so that there are more years for students to master learning skills,” Bautista says.

» Bautista adds that private SpEd schools have no problems with the K to 12 program. They are just hoping that the new curriculum will benefit the students with special needs especially those in public schools since they have to adjust more than the private school.

» Bautista says that there is promise to the K + 12 program if they stick to their vision of holistically developing students’ potentials and skills. She just hopes that the new curriculum will focus on the functional literacy of a special child and has more hands-on and interactive learning.

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Back to School for Children with Special Needs

Hi Teacher Landa! I’m doing a story on back to school with special children. Can you please give one or two important tips on a special child’s first day of school?

Angelo Garcia, Manila Bulletin

One to two weeks prior to the opening of classes, condition your child about the changes in his/her routine. Gradually introduce structure in his/her daily activities to allow him/her to ease into the year’s class schedule.

It would likewise be great to talk about what school would be like and how fun it would be to learn new things.

For the full article, please click the link. *^_^*

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Autism Resources for Beginners

Dear Teacher Landa,

My 3 year old son was recently diagnosed with autism. It has been very hard and I am still hurting. My husband is in denial. My parents and in-laws, too. But I know we all need to deal with the problem so we can help our son. I want to know more about autism. What autism books or other resources can you suggest for me? Thank you.

Name withheld upon request

I admire you for taking this challenge head-on. Equipping yourself is truly one of the many ways you can help your son and your family.

Below are beginner resources that I recommend:

“Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew” by Ellen Notbohm (Read the full article here.)

10 Things Every CWA Wishes You Knew

“Thinking in Pictures: My Life with Autism” and “The Way I See it” by Temple Grandin

Thinking in Pictures

“Autism Spectrum Disorders: The Complete Guide to Understanding Autism, Asperger’s Syndrome, Pervasive Developmental Disorders & Other ASDs” by Chantal Sicile-Kira

ASDs: The Complete Guide

For young children such as siblings, cousins, or peers, I recommend:

“There’s a Duwende in My Brother’s Soup” by Lara Saguisag (Lampara Books)

There's A Duwende

“Different Like Me: My Book of Autism Heroes” by Jennifer Elder

Different Like Me

I likewise highly recommend that you and your family watch the HBO film “Temple Grandin” starring Claire Danes.

I also highly recommend that you become part of Autism Society Philippines. They have monthly family support group meetings, seminars, and workshops. You may get in touch with them at (02) 926-6942, (02) 929-8447, or autismphils@gmail.com.

ASP

I hope this helps. Cheers and Godspeed on your journey to being your son’s best advocate!

All good wishes,

Teacher Landa *^_^*

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Autism & its Signs

Dear Teacher Landa,

Good day! I am very worried about my neighbor’s son, Mark*. He is already three years old but still doesn’t talk. He makes funny noises, moves his arms, cries and shouts a lot. Other kids are scared of him because he bites himself. The parents say there’s nothing wrong with him. Someone said he might have autism but the parents don’t want to see a doctor. I think they are in denial. Does Mark have autism? What are the signs of autism? How can we convince the parents to bring him to a doctor? How can we help Mark? Thank you for any advice.

Name withheld upon request

*Not the child’s real name

Answering the question of whether or not Mark has autism is a difficult one given the limited circumstances we have. As an educator, I can give a clinical impression about a child’s special needs but not without seeing Mark personally for an assessment. It is always in the child’s best interest to see a developmental pediatrician who can assess him and recommend the appropriate intervention.

Autism is the most common member of a family called autism spectrum disorders (ASDs), also known as Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDDs). It is a developmental disability that significantly affects a child’s verbal and nonverbal communication, social interaction, and behavior. It is usually diagnosed by the time a child is 3 years old. Other characteristics often associated with autism are engaging in repetitive activities and stereotyped movements, resistance to environmental change or change in daily routines, and unusual responses to sensory experiences.

Below is the most comprehensive illustration I have seen containing the signs of autism. It states the signs and symptoms in the simplest way possible. This chart includes items from three (3) developmental areas, namely social interaction, communication, and behavior. A child who has six (6) or more symptoms from this list is usually diagnosed with autism.

Autism Signs

Source: Autism Signs

Accepting a child’s disability is never easy. We all want our children to be as healthy as possible, after all. The way I see it, we all reach acceptance at different paces. Some just need more pushing than others. Denial is often the first barrier we need to breakdown in parents and other family members. It is a parent’s false friend and a child’s worst foe. Needless to say, the earlier it’s out of the way, the better it is for the child. And Mark is certainly blessed to have a neighbor like you.

What can you do? Give the parents the information they need and provide them with as much resources as possible. Most of all show them that you accept their family and their son. There may be initial resistance, perhaps some misunderstandings and hurt feelings even, but if you genuinely care about Mark, your concern will shine through.

When his parents are ready, and we hope that happens sooner than later, I recommend that they request for a referral to a developmental pediatrician from Mark’s doctor. If you need any help, please feel welcome to let me know. I will do my best to connect you with a specialist from your area.

Here are additional resources for you:

I hope this helps. Take care and please send my love to Mark. Godspeed always!

All good wishes,

Teacher Landa *^_^*

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“Children are… …‘beings not becomings’.” - J. Qvortrup, M. Bardy, G. Sgritta, G. and H. Wintersberger, “Childhood Matters”

“Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized.”
- Margaret Atwood

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"Ways of Seeing: Using the Mosaic Approach to Listen to Young Children’s Perspectives"

Written by Alison Clark, this article is a very interesting read for Parents, Educators and other professionals dealing with young children.

Thank you to MS. FRITZIE RYLAND for sharing this article with us.

Overview

How can young children’s perspectives become the focus for an exchange of meanings between children, practitioners, parents and researchers? In this chapter, Alison Clark explores how the Mosaic approach provides a way of facilitating such exchanges. Starting from the viewpoint of young children as competent meaning makers and explorers of their environment, the Mosaic approach brings together a range of methods for listening to young children about their lives. The chapter explores this approach in the context of involving young children in changes to an outdoor play area. Wider questions are raised about adult–child power relations and the status of young children.

Excerpts from the article:

» “…Children are seen not as passive objects in the research process
or in society in general but as social actors who are ‘beings not becomings’…”

» “…Adults’ expectations of young children influence how they communicate with children and how they enable children to communicate with them. Viewing young children as weak, powerless and vulnerable may lead to high expectations of the adults’ role in terms of protection and nurture but low expectations of children in terms of how they can express their perspectives, priorities and interests…”

» “…children of different abilities can be supported in sharing their perspectives if they are given a range of multisensory means to communicate. These visual, spatial and physical tools should not be seen as a ‘creative extra’ but offer a challenge to the dominant learning styles that value verbal/linguistic skills at the expense of other means of communication…”

» “…listening to young children, which plays to children’s strengths rather than to adults’. Listening using the Mosaic approach has been shown to encourage listening at different levels and in different contexts, whether this is children ‘listening’ to their own reflections, enabling multiple listening to take place between children, their peers and adults or creating possibilities for visible listening…”

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“Budoy” & Misconceptions about Individuals with Special Needs

Dear Teacher Landa was consulted regarding the seeming misconceptions shown on the ABS-CBN soap “Budoy”.

The following questions are courtesy of Mr. Angelo G. Garcia of Manila Bulletin.

Budoy has Angelman Syndrome, is this condition “curable” or can someone with the condition improve mentally in time? Is there a cure for Angelman Syndrome?

Angelman Syndrome (AS) is a permanent condition and there is currently no cure available for it. However, it is not degenerative and some symptoms can be managed. Educational and behavioral interventions can help address concerns in the areas of communication, behavior modification, and social skills. Medical intervention is usually necessary to manage sleep disturbances and seizures. Physical, occupational and speech-language therapy likewise help individuals with AS.

Children with AS can look forward to a normal lifespan but majority of them require lifelong care.

What is Angelman Syndrome? How is it different from Autism and Mental Retardation? What is AS?

Angelman Syndrome (AS) is a rare neuro-genetic disorder named after an English pediatrician, Dr. Harry Angelman, who first described the syndrome in 1965. It is characterized by severe intellectual disability, speech impediment, sleep disturbance, unstable jerky gait, seizures and usually a happy demeanor.

They likewise have common facial features, such as a wide smiling mouth, a thin upper lip, and deep set eyes. More than half have low levels of pigmentation in their eyes, hair, and skin.

It is said to occur about one in 20,000 births. An assessment of the physical and behavioral features of AS helps in a more accurate diagnosis.

The following features are always seen or consistent in AS:

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Preschoolers & Missing Letters

My 5 year old writes words with some letters, particularly the consonants, missing. Should this be a cause for concern?

This could be indicative of a reading delay or problem, if she is unable to copy words the right way. Observe how she pronounces and remembers words, if she struggles at recognizing words that rhyme or have similar sounds, or in recalling the sounds of letters. Discuss your observations with your child’s teacher and ask for an evaluation and suggested intervention.

Sources:

Ms. Landa A. Bautista, M.A.Ed., Curriculum Director, The Learning Center, Inc. (TLC), Parañaque City
Websites: speechdelay.com; howkidsdevelop.com; kidshealth.org